Sunday Bloody Sunday

Christmas Eve! If I don't blog soon, happy birthday God. Even though it's not really your birthday but ah, you know what I mean. Anyway, I think Pink Floyd got it right when they wrote time.You fritter and waste the hours in an off hand way...And then one day you find that ten years have got behind you. I know that's happening to me. Right now, my life just feels so purposeless. I just spend the whole day waiting to go out. And then it happens. And then, repeat process. I mean seriously isn't there something more I should be doing. And I keep thinking, okay, tomorrow I will. but then tomorrow comes and I just don't have the energy because I have expended it all sitting. Stoning is very sapping. I bet much of history has been retarded by laziness. Like the aeroplane should have been invented in 1000 a.d. but the man who was meant to do it got lazy. I mean, I know that's not true, God determines everything and it all follows his plan but well, you know what I mean.

I just wish people would realise that christmas is the season of forgiveness.

This norton anti-virus thing keeps poping up at me. Anyone know how to make it go away?

Anyway, current present count

girlies - M&M dispenser ( v. useful), strokes cd, very ugly hair clip, funny bitchy mini t-shirts
ju - boot earrings(cool), jazz cd, coke sign
nise - wallet (much needed), salmon mousse
mummy - perfume set (v nice), putumauo cd, music cd (unknown)
puppy - carrot

Stairway to Heaven

There are so many completely random things to say but I just don't have the energy. 1) the crane at the site on Farrer Road is lit up with Christmas lights and there's a tree even a top the fancy crane. I guess the spirit is seriously in the air. 2) I have $2.82 in my bank account as of this moment that depresses me greatly and takes bucket loads away from my spirit. 3) I've watched 7 episodes of the Gilmore Girls today so I’m on a high. There are SO many great movies I haven't watched yet it's not even funny. I haven’t watched Casablanca! Obviously signs of a misspent youth. 4) there is a headline on Netscape today that seriously, and i mean SERIOUSLY says "finiding herself:mary-kate speaks out". I mean omg. Like yesterday, heard a report on the BBC about this bunch of guys who pissed off a bridge wearing Santa suits to protest the commercialisation of Christmas. Cos you know, once your windscreen gets hit by fresh pee, you're obviously inspired to find the true meaning behind Christmas. 5) I’m in love with fish from Chicken Little. It was love at first sight. Mock if you must, but when I’m 85 and delightfully happy with my fish, and you’re all divorced homeless people, don’t come running to me…

Hands

to believe. that's all. I don't know. I miss you. But well, I just need to believe this then.

If i could tell the world just one thing
It would be that we're all ok
And not to worry 'cause worry is wasteful
And useless in times like these
I won't be made useless
I won't be idle with despair
I will gather myself around my faith
For light does the darkness most fear

We are god's eyes
God's hands
God's mind
We are god's eyes
God's hands
God's heart
We are god's eyes
God's hands
God's eyes
We are god's hands
We are god's hands

Jewel, hands

Once, when I was young and true,
Someone left me sad-
Broke my brittle heart in two;
And that is very bad.

Love is for unlucky folk,
Love is but a curse.
Once there was a heart I broke;
And that, I think, is worse.

Dorothy Parker, A Very Short Song

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Slow and Steady

Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It'd really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment. They expect you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then usually decide against it.

How Do People See You?

In a Past Life...

You Were: A Lazy Sailor. Where You Lived: Italy. How You Died: Consumption.

Who Were You In a Past Life?

Your World View

You are a fairly broadminded romantic and reasonably content. You value kindness and try to live by your ideals. You have strong need for security, which may be either emotional or material. You respect truth and are flexible. You like people, and they can readily make friends with you. You are not very adventurous, but this does not bother you.

What Is Your World View?

shit i'm damn depressed about my lack of comments now that the anti-spam things been implemented. This is very sad.

Fell in love with a girl - white stripes playlist

I'm so bored i've been reading random blogs. Found this one about the doomsday scenario and jazz. http://analogspot.blogspot.com/. very funny though it may quite plausibly be unintentional. It's so awful to have this much free time. Even more awful to think that i'm complaining about having free time. Office workers and macdonalds' ladies alike are now going to stone me in my sleep. Bah humbug. Well christmas is coming so I guess I should get cracking on the damn shopping. Whee.

In other news, I have spent the last two days discussing allergies with people. Yesterday this woman at lunch, where I ate far tooo much because everyone was "allergic" to all this stuff go rashes eve though she didn't eat the deadly prawns because they apparently used the same pot to cook something else in. haha. I'm very happy with my lack of allergies. Except to gold, which I can definitely live with. And today, _ talked about being allergic to her christmas tree. A christmas tree! well i know _ is allergic to grass etc. Like pot porri gives her rashes. Gah. On this day, I am thankful that I am not a ball of rashes.

This is actually a rare type of mushroom but it's all I got when I searched for ball of rashes

It's true that we love one another -after this I'm not all too sure

Now the story of our great clubbing debacle. You know truly, best friends do not necessarily make the best clubbing friends. Okay so we wanted to Gotham last night right? So we meet at my place and take a cab to merchant court. Not realsiing that he’s dropped us off at the hotel – Swisshotel merchant court, instead of Gotham’s Merchant’s Court. So we try to go up stairs to the third floor to look for Gotham. Except that the lift didn’t have a third floor!!! Our first clue. So finally we pluck up the courage to go to the front desk and she’s like okay it’s across from riverside point so walk down the side and just cross. Simple right? Wrong. We walk past Brewerkz. Etc. etc. etc. walk past people flying electronic kites which is totally super cool. Anyway, so we stop the cab and the uncle’s like of merchant’s court. Oh the one behind Liang Court? Oh it’s like a half an hour walk but a 4 minute cab ride. And then. And then. And then he drives away!!!!!! WTH. K never mind. Next cab. Now this guy doesn’t know HOW to get to merchants’ court. K so finally we call my mum and she gives use new directions to get across the river. Cos for some reason we couldn’t before. So we’ve done this right?

It gets better. So we go into Fish Tales and the sweet sweet man tells us to walk down the lane and turn in at the lift and take it to the third storey. So we walk. AN walk. Past Attica. Past loads of other things I don't remember. Finally, finally we turn in to this chinesy looking place and there's a lift. So we all pile in. And lo and behold. No level 3. Again. So find yet another site map. And we realised that the turinng was like two shops down from fish tales. and back we go. like the damned pied pipper i swear. All that " up and down and up and down, I will lead them up and down". Bloody hell. And guess what. When we finally get to Gotham bloody Penthouse, the bouncer in the lobby says " I am very sorry to inform you that the club is closed till 12:30 for a private function". Very sorry my ass. Okay actually he was really nice and stuff. Kinda like an extra large teddy bear, but I must vent. So then, we're like no, we can't have our clubbing attempt foiled again ( I'll get to why again later)., so let's go to Momo.So we go, and we get there before 11 so no cover. Music's great etc. But after all that effort that went into finding Gotham, we want to go back right? so at 12:20, we take our stuff from the front desk, ( the guy was like "leaving so early?' and _ was like no, we're going somewhere else. "haha) and we go BACK to Gotham. And when we get there guess what??????? "the private party only ends at 1a.m. I am very sorry. We tried to let members of the public in but the planners got very upset". My dear Mr. Bouncer, I truly hope that by some divine force you read this and feel the power of the truly very upset.

Okay, truthfully though t was kinda fun. It's just terribly sad that we're so jinxed. So we went back to momo. On the way home, our cab got hit by another car and thus hit the car in front of us. I've just had to write a report for the company so that the cab driver doesn't need to use his insurance to pay or something funny like that. Eventful?

Oh and the lst time we went clubbing together, the others all didn't bring their ICs!!!!!!!!! and the Chinablack people only take ICs! haha, so after I got in I tried to lend _ my IC. Except, when she got to the door, they were like hey, you're not Indian. haha shit. So they confiscated my ID. And when I went to pick it up the guy was like oh, this is a police offense. You lucky the police man not here yet ah. And just to inform you, you and your friend are banned form chinablack for a year. Except that they didn't take our details down but hey, that's a small detail eh? Actually the gotham people are far nicer. So anyway, now we have to go back since we went through all this trouble. Just waiting till everyone gets back from respective holidays. We're real noobs.

Your Superhero Profile

Your Superhero Name is The Mighty Platypus Your Superpower is Cursing Your Weakness is Stuttering Your Weapon is Your Air Battle Axe Your Mode of Transportation is Bubble

What's your Superhero Name?

I'll be there for you

10 Years Ago:

01. I had 1 best friend and we did everything together. We even had a pet chick. It got eaten by Grace’s cat.

02. I had a pink water bottle

03. I was really quite fat ( it began here!)

04. I won an award for being litter monitoress i.e. being clean (it ended here!)

05. I played with the kids in my block a lot and I wasn’t really allowed to go out but I didn’t really want to besides going to Grace’s so that was okay.

5 Years Ago:

01. I hated a lot of people and had really awful anger management classes

02. I listened to angsty music by linkin park or something like that

03. I might have been at camp in RI. The first time I met boys and wasn’t used to them and thus behaved very strangely as if they were a different species from us( I only discovered recently that the lines are rather blurry)

04. I started swearing because of this rather silly GEP boy who I never saw again but tainted me for all eternity. Hah.

05. I was very annoying

1 Year Ago:

01. We had recently finished buskers and might have been at the kids camp thingy. Don’t remember the dates. Thus I was very high on drama-ness. And constantly went out with the same gang. That fizzled out in j2.

02.

03. I was scared of J2

04. I was very angsty

05. I had a fight with someone about God ( I cheated and checked my blog)

Yesterday:

01. I was at brewerkz

02. I drank more then 10 beers

03. I threw up there. In public. And apparently at home though I don’t remember. Perhaps even in the cab

04. I was/am very very stupid

05. My phone died


5 Snacks I Like:

01. Chocolate. Preferably Cadbury’s. I am a plebian

02. Kettle chips

03. Piggies from Mark’s

04. Fries from Macdonald’s

05. Ice cream as long as it’s not Potong or a strange traditional flavour

5 Songs I Know All The Words To:

01. For the beauty of the earth

02. Love song for a saviour

03. It’s true that we love one another?

04. Six words long (I’m getting desperate)

05. ah…Hark the Herald angel’s sing. This is not my fault. My player got stolen!


If I Had A Billion Dollars:

01. Buy my parents a house

02. Put some in a college fund, some in a parents’-old-age fund

03. Buy lots of clothes. I keep thinking about clothes because of damn prom.

04. Buy a boat

05. Donate er a lot.

Favorite TV Shows:

01. LOST
02. Friends

03. Gilmore girls

04. Joan of Arcadia

05. CSI

5 Favorite Body Parts:

01. Hair

02. Thumb

03. Eyes

04. Hip bone

05. Tongue

I miss my baby far away in a foreign country. hope the cows don't eat her

All the right friends -(R.E.M, not a statement)

I keep planning these long ponderous posts in my head walking home but I just well can’t seem to be bothered to blog. Pfftttt… And now I am very hungry and still don’t have a dress for prom and have to go later. Again. To look at clothes that make me feel like a balloon. Gah.

I am increasingly communicating via a series of sounds. It’s kind of insane actually. I have like my own language that no one else understands. But well my darlings if everyone just listened… life would be far easier.

And _ introduced us to the joys of Will and Grace!!! Swoon. But it’s not true I say. I know gay men and they are nothing like that. How unfair to force people into having these romanticized notions of what it is to befriend gay men. Ah television is crap for stuff like that: like Friends does about living alone in New York; like the Practice and Boston Legal and what not do about law. Geez.

I suppose I should blog about school and memory lane and all that jazz. I in my Dory (Finding Nemo, not a general character trait of the fish in question) ways will forget everything soon enough but well; I really don’t know what to say. Which you might have guessed by now is uncommon for me. School was good and fun and strange and painful an a bazillion other emotions and I wish I still painted because this would just be so much easier to communicate. It was watching people play football with a cockroach, staying back until one in the morning and just collapsing on the lino unable to move, _’s dad and my mum coming to help us carry the stuff up as we literally had lost all our strength, it was one billion void deck conversations, watching people dance in the damn rain, screaming at _ for doing it to prevent pneumonia. And thus it was _ sitting in the void deck with only her sweater on because her blouse was soaked through. It was countless lectures, most of which we slept or played games through, like _ and _ and their paper chess games all through econs, and _’s dumb word games where whoever completes the word loses. It was walking around school barefoot and racing across the tarmac just for the heck of it. It was the hub and the studio and the NLs and everywhere else prominent in our lives there. It was Mr. _ calling me immoral for my low shorts and forcing me to give Karen a massage! (He later learnt to like me a lot! Beam). It was crying all through my promos and sitting there screaming back at _ and _ who were trying to force me to do work. It was watching as _ directed an entire room of scared teenagers when _ punched in the glass window and _ walking in to find them there, and making her first priority _’s cake. It was getting pyjamas from the _ on honours night and then almost getting thrown out of the event. It was discovering that boys equate free pizza with sex. It was being called snuffles and numerous other things as people mocked my dancing, and my glee at their shock when I could split (can split, I think). It was going for the hissoc seminar thing and spending ninety percent of the time in the void deck gossiping. It was sitting behind the bus stop across the road as they had their little BL (boston legal, don’t ask me why) fests, and getting the smoke in my hair. It was going to school and sitting in the damn void deck on Saturdays, even public holidays. You know, these past two years, I have been in school on every public holiday that occurs during the term period except for Labour Day (2005). It was losing the logbook and having _ find it and give it _ and that immense relief after I spent half of math lecture running around and thus promising to love him forever. It was playing DOTA that first time, that only time, that was awful and miserable and exciting all at the same time. It was smashing my phone (by accident) an d throwing it at irritants (not by accidents). It was decorating the giant lobby Christmas tree in j1. It was climbing over the back gate and getting caught by Mr. _. “ Do you want me to tell…” Bugger. It was braking the air conditioner to stay n the …

And I just realised that I wrote one page. And that every sentence started with “it was”. And there is this overwhelming feeling of sentimentality and nostalgia. But at the same time, of extreme bathos. Like it’s over, and we’ll move on, and it’s the things that never get said, that never get remembered that matter most. That it was the experience of being that I am nostalgic for which is strange given the number of poignant, disappointing. Frustrating moments that I wrote about, but candidly so that they suddenly becoming endearing, and suddenly the memory seems farcical almost, and incongruous with the truth, and yet I barely remember what I have just written. I’ll publish it anyway, but I apologise if it offends or upsets. Sometimes it’s just that we have snap shot moments in our minds that make us remember experiences in a way that only photographs can. And we long to cry over what s passed. But it seems so dumb, sentimental and well just silly. I suppose at the end of it all, it was an experience, and I can’t really say that I remember because with time my perspective’s changed and I am looking back with those rose tinted glass and blurry eyes of tears, but I can’t say that I regret and I guess, well I am grateful, to all those who were part of my experience. To those who are mentioned here, and to those who are not. To everyone who was even vaguely important to my existence, even if it was only for a split second.

And now, I realise that I have become completely incoherent. And my sentence structures have broken down ( like Othello!). So I will end here. And go back and blank out all the names to protect the memories and the memored. Memored? Remembered.